The night sounds of the house are all around me – the click of the furnace, the creaks of the house, the movement of my spouse. As I lay there I watch the clock move from 11:00 to 11:30 and eventually to 2:00 and 3:00 and so on. Insomnia is a rare event in my life and it troubles me.
Eventually the tears come as the pain that had been keeping me awake persists. I pray to God, not so much to relieve the pain, but to give me answers. What is this pain? What do I do to treat it? I have been in discomfort for weeks. What is it about tonight that causes it to rear its ugly head in such an intense fashion?
I don’t like not knowing things. I work hard to be informed about what is going on as far as my health goes. I have some suspicions as to what is going on, but every option poses a complication. It’s scary to think about options. Fear wants to take hold but I fight it off with prayer so it doesn’t overwhelm me.
My rolling around disturbs my husband. He tries his usual soothing tactics – to hold me and massage away the discomfort. It is soon evident that nothing either of us can do is going to make the situation better. A call to the government health link system for advice has us speeding on our way to emergency in minutes.
The kindest nurse greets me. Her care is compassionate and thorough, even in a busy situation where staff are few and tasks are many. While I must diagram my pain to give her a picture of my situation another thought comes to me – God is placing these staff people in my path today. How can I be His light?
Let’s not forget, my pain is acute. I am not at my best self. I have had almost no sleep and there is the fear of the unknown. It is easy to think of turning inward and dwelling on myself. But I have a choice: I can dwell on my discomfort and put forward a “poor me” attitude or I can do what Jesus did – I can touch those around me.
I make it my mission to show the thankful heart I truly do have. I am very grateful to be in a place where the answers I had been seeking earlier can be given. That praiseful attitude affects my interactions with my nurse. I see surprise in her eyes when I share my appreciation for her actions on my behalf on more than one occasion.
It is a long night’s journey. The morning bring tests and more staff interactions. A young woman, training in a new position, is a bit hesitant about her task. I surely could speak of how much it hurts to move around on the x-ray equipment or complain about how long I’ve waiting for that assessment. But I choose God’s way – words of encouragement come out of somewhere deep within my spirit. The pain is almost forgotten as I instead focus on the other person. She perks up and moves with more confidence and a jolly banter ensues.
It’s all about how you approach it – do you take what life gives you and look for all the problems, issues, anomalies, queries, and disasters? Or do you take what God sends your way and say that I will praise Him all my life long in ALL things, good or bad.
It’s amazing how a bad day turns better when I have an attitude of praise.
And, by the way, I did find out what is wrong with me – with a definitive answer. It’s not the best diagnosis as I will deal with this issue for years to come – but God did answer my prayer and show me what I need to do. He gives me a caring physician who takes the time with me to teach me how to cope with flare ups and use preventative measures. That is a great cause for thanksgiving!
This is not the day I planned it to be – but God makes it the day I NEED it to be. Praise Him for His wondrous ways and for the opportunities He gives me to be His faithful servant.
Author’s note – I am not in any way stating that I always get it right. I certainly have days when pain wins and my demeanour is less than Christ like. But I do want to encourage you in your faith walk and hopefully examples, such of these, when things work well, will inspire you to consider how Jesus may want you to respond to His people today.