Even Then
Covid came to my classroom this week. Unlike last year, our class is not required to quarantine. While I am fully vaccinated, I fear for my little ones. They are so vulnerable. My risk level rises also. It is hard walking into that classroom each day knowing that this disease is likely going to work its way through my students.
I have many mixed emotions over it all. I feel anger over many things that I can’t control that affect my life – things like government decisions to open up everything this summer when it was inevitable that fall would see a fourth wave of this nasty virus. Or… why God put me back in the classroom this year when this virus rages. I was safer working from home last year. Why put me in harm’s way?
We all have times when our feelings are in a jumble. We don’t understand. We question. We plod through challenging circumstances. We wonder why our path is through the brambles rather than the meadow.
After ranting for most of my commute home the other day, I realized that mode of coping is really not helpful. There is already way too much anger raging in our world today. I don’t need to add to it. It’s not healthy for me to focus on things that I cannot control. Yes, I do have a right to be upset over other people’s choices that are affecting my life – but to what extent? If I dwell on them it is like a wound that keeps getting scratched open. It is impossible to heal that way.
Sometimes, I find it way too easy to go down the path of complaining or focusing on what is going wrong. But really what good does that do me? In some instances, yes, I can voice my concerns and hopefully that brings about change. However, in many circumstances, my complaining only upsets me and serves no good purpose.
Where do I put all these feelings of disappointment, uncertainty, fear, and anger? There is only one place that is healthy – at the foot of the Cross. Jesus knows and understands everything that I feel. He is the only true source of help in times like these.
As I say often, I truly believe God gives us what we need when we need it. For me, these last few days, He nourishes my spirit lots through Christian music. It is great comfort to hear of the hope we have in Christ as shared through song.
A Micah Tyler song really speaks to me at the moment. Take a listen:
Even if things are going poorly or they are out of our control, we are never beyond God’s reach. He is holding onto us through this pandemic and whatever else comes our way.
God’s promises are sure and certain. He will not leave you!
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Dear readers,
I actively solicit your prayers as Covid rages at my school. Please pray for my safety as I care for God’s little people in my classroom and for each of them as well.
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